If you're considering divorce you are not alone. There comes a time is most marriages when the decision to stay together or divorce must be made. There are valid and statistical reasons for this as well as personal.
We are living much longer. Our current average lifespan of 80 compared to the average lifespan in the 1800's of 55 ads 25 years on to our married life.
In addition we live in a disposable society. Almost everything we use today can just be "thrown away". This attitude has transferred onto people, regarding people.
Of course there are other variables involved when considering divorce but these certainly are the catalysts. What if you knew your life was about to end? What if there weren't so many single men and women available on the "other side"? Would you still consider divorce or would you choose to work on your marriage?
One person in a marriage is always tempted with the proverbial "greener grass" on the other side. The narcissism our society teaches us, makes us constantly ask ourselves, "Why should I put up with my spouse's behavior" and "I know I can do" better". (This does not refer to mental or physical abuse. Those circumstances warrant a quick exit!)
Usually people consider divorce because they want better, they see greener grass on the other side and they want that. They want a better spouse, better lifestyle. They want someone and something different. Is different better?
If everyone can do better, why are the dating services and singles chat rooms full? By better do we mean alone?
People who consider divorce should talk to people who have been divorced awhile. They just might go back to their spouses with a different outlook, a renewed interest in getting to know this person you have lived so long with. Your spouse knows everything about you and loves you anyway. Isn't that what we all want? Think about how much time and effort you have put into building your life, raising your children. Your seeds have already been planted, your grass is growing.
When you were little, you built things that commanded a lot of time and effort such as, Lego, a large puzzle or sandcastle. When someone came along and broke it didn't you get angry at the loss? You were being totally disregarded and disrespected. All the time and effort you put into your labor of love was ruined wasted. You most likely cried, " Now I have to start all over!"
That's a tip of the iceberg called "divorce".
You have to start over completely. Except, now you are middle aged and the "starting over" is much more serious and difficult. It's not just you and your spouse that will have to start over. You are forcing your children to start over as well. You are ruining their sandcastle.
If you are considering divorce, have another look at your spouse and your life. Try to find ways to grow together that will keep the foundation you have already spent years building, secure. Water your grass.
Forget about the other side. The grass is not greener, on this side you will have to plant the seeds.
Liz Wertman,
"Divorce Strategy for Men and Women" is your guide through the divorce maze. Discover how you can reduce legal fees, stay out of court and maintain your parenting rights because you will not get a second chance!
http://www.divorcewell.com
